How many have you heard? Is there one that you could have said? Beyond the numbers and technical terminology, poker is full of phrases for posterity. Here are some of the most famous ones.

10 funny poker quotes

“If you play bridge badly, you make your partner suffer. But, if you play poker badly, you make everybody happy”, by Joe Laurie Jr. Anybody can’t describe better the general feeling of the table when you play badly. A funny poker quote you should remember.

“Show me a good looser, and I’ll show you a loser”. Said by Stuart Errol Ungar, a professional poker player, known as one of the best Texas Hold’em players of all time.

“I always carried a gun in my pocket because the problem for me wasn’t winning the money, it was getting out with it”. Said by Dave Ulliott. He must have felt very insecure every time he left the casinos…. Poor thing!

“Poker has the feeling of a sport, but you don’t have to do push-ups”. Penn Jillette was right when said this. Although you sweat just as much, if not more, playing poker as you do playing sports.

“Last night I stayed up playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house, and four people died”, by Steven Wright. We believe that Wright was the forerunner of a new modality of poker games when he used Tarot cards. If you were looking for funny poker quotes, here you have the gold medal.

“This donkey stuffs $15,000 in with king-jack. I mean, the guy can’t even spell poker”, by Phil Hellmuth. As kind and measured as ever.

“If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time”, by controversial Phil Hellmuth. Yes, again. And always so humble. We recognize that he is right, but the bad news for Hellmuth is that others would also dispute his position to win if luck did not exist.

“I think I would be a good U.S. President, but I wouldn’t want that level of stress…”, said by Phil “Guesswho” Hellmuth. In his dreams, we believe he has already been Prime Minister of Pokerland.

“The beautiful thing about poker is that everybody thinks they can play”, by Christopher Bryan Moneymaker. Bold, but true.

“Poker is like sex. Everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing”. Dutch Boyd said this. We wonder how many people Boyd watched having a nice time doing… their poker play. Next!

10 poker sayings and quotes

“Trust everyone, but always cut the cards”, by Benny Binion. In other words, he trusts, but not very much.

“One of the interesting things about poker is that once you let your ego in, you’re done for”. Al Alvarez dixit. Ego is one of the worst things you can get into poker. There is no room for it in the equation. Poker is not a game for big egos. It always has been, and it always will be.

“Poker takes a minute to learn, but a lifetime to master”, said by Mike Sexton. And that’s with tones of hard work and a lot of enthusiasm.

“Even a blind squirrel finds the nuts once in a while”. Who said this? We don’t know, but we totally agree. But, come on, try not to be a blind squirrel, ok?

“To be a poker champion, you must have a strong bladder”, by Jack McClelland. We couldn’t agree more.

“If you call, it’s gonna be all over, baby!”, by Scott Nguyen. This phrase has its context. We invite you to discover it by yourself to witness one of the most iconic moments in recent poker.

“I’m going to destroy you. I’m gonna take everything you got!”. Tony G said this. It seems he was a little… excited.

“BOOM! 9-high like a boss!”, said by an outrageous William Kassouf. For some, one of the best poker quotes of all time while facing a professional player. For any others… just… err… next.

“In the poker game of life, women are the rake”. It’s as sexist as it sounds. It’s a good thing that the phrase belongs to a movie, Rounders, although we know of more than one player who would have no qualms about saying such an outrageous thing. Edward Norton said it in the film.

“If you can’t spot the sucker 30 minutes after sitting down at a table, it’s probably you”. Lots of players said this, as it is one of the most famous poker quotes of all time.


10 famous poker quotes

“Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well”.

Said by Jack London, it is one of the best-known phrases in the poker world. A phrase that has applications in everyday life and represents the importance of thinking about how to make the most of what you have.

“Poker exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great”. Said by actor Walther Matthau. And we all love poker, don’t we?

“When we play, we must realize, before anything else, that we are out to make money”, by David Sklansky. For Sklansky, learning and having fun seemed secondary. Spoiler: they are not. If you don’t have fun while playing poker, you should go for a while.

“Poker may be a branch of psychological warfare, an art form or indeed a way of life, but it is also merely a game, in which money is simply the means of keeping score”, by Anthony Holden. Some people say that poker tables are like battlefields with invisible bullets. And they are for sure!

“I believe most of the world is finally starting to love me, like McEnroe or Ali”, by Phil Hellmuth. His community of detractors has been growing for compelling reasons, we fear.

“The Main Event is the only tournament in the history of poker you never have to bluff. You just have to stay alive and wait for the idiota to give you their chips”. Very clever, Mike Matusow.

“Come on, Russian! Get out! It’s time to go! You’re a professional player and I can do this to you. Bring the Russians on. Bring more Russians! You played that as bad as you could. Your career is finished! YOU ARE GONE!”. Yeap, Tony G said this, and it sounded a bit scary, not gonna lie.

“The cardinal sin in poker, worse than playing bad cards, worse even than figuring your odds incorrectly, is becoming emotionally involved”. Katherine Lederer dixit. One of the most popular poker saying and quotes you can find.

“It’s all about doing the wrong thing at the right time. Like life, I guess”. The Cincinnati Kid was a great film, and this quote is one of the best of the movie. Edward G. Robinson said this quote in one of the best scenes of the show.

“Poker is like sex: it’s more fun when you go all-in”. We don’t know who said this, but we guess he or she is right. You agree?